A Nerd's Revenge

A not so serious look at life.

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Floss Trick

The other night I found myself on the floor flossing my teeth. I think it had been at least a year since I had done so, and for some reason that night I was feeling especially gung ho about good oral hygeine. As usual, my fat little friend was sitting next to me in the living room purring his ass off. As I was working the floss around my molars I happened to look down. HI's eyes were darting back and forth with each little movement of the floss. He was fascinated. When I was done I decided to let HI have a go with the new toy.

We had a ball together. I would dangle the floss in front of his face. He would bat at it. I would pull the floss zig zag on the floor. He would pounce on it. Eventually, I lost interest in the little game and started watching television, but occassionally I flicked the floss around to keep HI occupied.

A few minutes later I felt some whiskers tickling the ends of my fingers. I looked down and saw HI sitting there next to me. He was purring like a little engine. I guess the cat was especially happy because he had just swallowed about three feet of minty green floss. The only part left was the little end that I was holding in my fingers. I had a problem. My girlfriend had warned me about letting HI swallow things because (1.) he is a little slow and (2.) he does love to eat. She had told me a horror story about her friend's dog who had eaten some kite string. The dog ended up at the vet after the twine became lodged in its intestines. What could I do? I did the only thing I could think of...I started to pull. HI made a weird little noise and smacked his mouth open and closed a bit as the floss emerged from his belly, but once it was out he resumed his purring. In fact, he tried to swallow the minty green goodness again. I couldn't believe it.

Occassionally, we have people over to our apartment for drinks. When everyone is good and drunk sometimes we let HI perform his little floss trick. He is always the hit of the party.


  • At 11:12 PM, Blogger dusty said…

    You forgot to mention that one time when you completely weren't paying attention and he swallowed the whole thing. He shat little pieces of minty green goodness for a week.

  • At 11:55 PM, Blogger Astakashi said…

    Yeah, that was funny. HI was trying to avoid ass cavities by using his new butt floss.


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